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what I have lived for

我为何而活

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

三种简单却极其强烈的情感主宰着我的生活：对爱的渴望、对知识的追求、对人类痛苦的难以承受的怜悯之心。这三种情感，像一阵阵飓风一样，任意地将我吹的飘来荡去，越过痛苦的海洋，抵达绝望的彼岸。

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness ? that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what ? at least ? I have found.

我寻找爱，首先，因为它令人心醉神迷，这种沉醉是如此美妙，以至于我愿意用余生来换取那几个小时的快乐。我寻找爱，其次是因为它会减轻孤独，置身于那种可怕的孤独中，颤抖的灵魂在世界的边缘，看到冰冷的、死寂的、无底深渊。我寻找爱，还因为在爱水乳?交融时，在一个神秘的缩影中，我见到了先贤和诗人们所想象的、预览的天堂。 这就是我所追求的，尽管对于凡人来说，这好像是一种奢望。但这是我最终找到的。

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway over the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

我曾以同样的热情来追求知识。我希望能理解人类的心灵，希望能知道为什么星星会发光。我也曾经努力理解毕达哥拉斯学派的理论，他们认为数字主载着万物的此消彼长。我了解了一点知识，但是不多。

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

爱和知识，可以最大可能地，将人带入天堂。可是，怜悯总是将我带回地面。人们因痛苦而发出的哭声在我心中久久回响，那些饥荒中的孩子们，被压迫者摧残的受害者们，被子女视为可憎负担的、无助的老人们，以及那无处不在的孤单、贫穷和无助都在讽刺着人类所本应该有的生活。我渴望能够消除人世间的邪恶，可是力不从心，我自己也同样遭受着它们的折磨。

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

这就是我的生活。我觉得活一场是值得的。如果给我机会的话，我愿意开心地，再活一次。

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