I recently heard a story from Stephen Glenn about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor - a veritable sea of milk!
When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"
Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.
His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!
This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn something valuable from it.
Wouldn't it be great if all parents would respond the way Robert's mother responded to him?
我最近从斯蒂芬.格伦那里听到一位有着几项重大医疗领域上突破而且名声不菲的科学研究者的逸事.来采访的新闻记者提问说:他本人有什么原由认为自己比一般人更具有创造天赋?是什么潜在因素让他如此卓而不凡?
他答复着说,以他自己的想法看来,今天的成就来自他两岁左右时和母亲有关的一次经历.当时他试着挪动一瓶冰箱里面的牛奶.一不小心,没有拿稳,于是瓶子从手中滑落然后掉在了地上,在厨房的地板上弄的满地都是——那场面可真是相当壮观,宛如茫茫乳海!
当他的母亲走进厨房的时候,没有对他大喊大叫,满口说教或者是给他小小惩戒,母亲说:“小罗伯特,你这个小家伙,看看你给我带来的小小意外!我可从没曾见过这么大片的的牛奶坑.好吧.你坏事都做完了。待你把这收拾好前,你能先停会再玩么?”
然后,他这么做了。几分钟后,母亲说到:“说真的,小罗伯特,无论你什么时候给我们制造了点意外,到最后你不得不自己收拾烂摊子然后把所有东西放回到原位。所以,接下来你打算怎么办呢?我们可以选择的有——海绵抹布,用毛巾或者是拖布。你觉得哪个好呢?我挑了海面抹布然后和妈妈一起把满地打翻的牛奶收拾干净了。”
母亲接着又说:“你瞧,在这里我们试着怎样有成效地用双小手拿着大瓶子的实验失败了,我们去后院吧,在那把瓶子装满水,然后看看我们能不能找到不让瓶子撒出水来的方法”这个小家伙——也就是我,学到了当双手握紧瓶子口附近的地方时,瓶子才不会被打翻。多么有趣的发现!
这位赫赫有名的科学家后来谈及到,也就是在那个时候他明白了自己无须恐惧去犯下错误。相反地,正是由于存在错误,这些契机的存在,你才会注意到此间那些未曾注意到的东西,也就是那些——你所研究那些东西的全部价值所在。即使你一直所努力的东西“没有结果”,我们通常也会从中知道了什么该做与什么不该做。
如果所有的父母都能像小罗伯特母亲那样善于应对孩子们所犯的小错误,也许整个世界都会因此而彰显和谐,迸发色彩。
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